For those of you following me on Twitter, you know I’ve had a bit of a weekend of it.
It all started on Friday when about 30 seconds prior to hitting “publish” I got a bit of a flutter in my heart. Nothing too odd about that I guess. I’m always a little apprehensive at this point of publishing a blog post, but the flutter seemed a bit big for that.
It didn’t go away. It hung about like a great big, fluttery, anxiety driven, heart disorder. I took deep breaths, I tried to focus on something else and I stopped making cups of tea. Nothing worked.
It was the bank holiday weekend, so lots of stuff going on and I just had to get on with it frankly. I was a little worried but did what I could to underplay it, mostly by talking about it, but also by reminding myself that I am a big ball of anxiety at the best of times and it’s probably just that. I’ve brought in on myself and it’ll go in time.
By talking about it on Twitter, Facebook and with real life people (I know!) I soon found out that I’m not alone with this sort of thing. A good friend of mine battled illness, panic attacks and heart palpitations all through her 41st year. After trying everything she finally took back some control by seeing a nutritionist and with that an acceptance that she also had ME and needed to know her limits.
Even more bizarrely I found out her husband was going through a similar issue. Palpitations and panic attacks over seemingly minor issues. He’s been to see his GP who has told him that it appears to be anxiety driven. Hardly surprising considering he’s been worried about getting older, concerned about where his career is going, having that whole “What’s it all about” moment.
My cousin has just left an essay rant on my Facebook about her battle for the last 10years with palpitations. Finding yoga and deep breathing works the best, but she’s just had to accept it as part of her life.
What the hell is going on?
Do we all reach a certain age and start worrying so much that we bring on anxiety type symptoms. I guess we do all worry that we ARE finally adults with children who need support. Perhaps we are wondering about where we will live, if we’ll ever earn more than we spend and what the key to a happy life is. I thought I’d figured that all out. Maybe not.
So, where does that leave me. Slowly (quickly) palpitating in the corner, that’s where. Just been to A&E and given the all clear for anything sinister so I’ve got a doctors appointment on Tuesday, hopefully to rule out anything thyroid related or perhaps a deficiency of some sort. In the meantime I’m topping up my fluids and trying to think happy thoughts. Who knew getting older would cause such a fuss!