Falling Apart at the Seams

For those of you following me on Twitter, you know I’ve had a bit of a weekend of it.
It all started on Friday when about 30 seconds prior to hitting “publish” I got a bit of a flutter in my heart. Nothing too odd about that I guess. I’m always a little apprehensive at this point of publishing a blog post, but the flutter seemed a bit big for that.

It didn’t go away. It hung about like a great big, fluttery, anxiety driven, heart disorder. I took deep breaths, I tried to focus on something else and I stopped making cups of tea. Nothing worked.
It was the bank holiday weekend, so lots of stuff going on and I just had to get on with it frankly. I was a little worried but did what I could to underplay it, mostly by talking about it, but also by reminding myself that I am a big ball of anxiety at the best of times and it’s probably just that. I’ve brought in on myself and it’ll go in time.

By talking about it on Twitter, Facebook and with real life people (I know!) I soon found out that I’m not alone with this sort of thing. A good friend of mine battled illness, panic attacks and heart palpitations all through her 41st year. After trying everything she finally took back some control by seeing a nutritionist and with that an acceptance that she also had ME and needed to know her limits.

Even more bizarrely I found out her husband was going through a similar issue. Palpitations and panic attacks over seemingly minor issues. He’s been to see his GP who has told him that it appears to be anxiety driven. Hardly surprising considering he’s been worried about getting older, concerned about where his career is going, having that whole “What’s it all about” moment.
My cousin has just left an essay rant on my Facebook about her battle for the last 10years with palpitations. Finding yoga and deep breathing works the best, but she’s just had to accept it as part of her life.
What the hell is going on?

Do we all reach a certain age and start worrying so much that we bring on anxiety type symptoms. I guess we do all worry that we ARE finally adults with children who need support. ECGPerhaps we are wondering about where we will live, if we’ll ever earn more than we spend and what the key to a happy life is. I thought I’d figured that all out. Maybe not.

So, where does that leave me. Slowly (quickly) palpitating in the corner, that’s where. Just been to A&E and given the all clear for anything sinister so I’ve got a doctors appointment on Tuesday, hopefully to rule out anything thyroid related or perhaps a deficiency of some sort. In the meantime I’m topping up my fluids and trying to think happy thoughts. Who knew getting older would cause such a fuss!


About freefallinginto40

I am 40 years old. I blog about how I'm coping with my "new" age at www.freefallinginto.com . I'm a married mother to two after years of infertility. I have a 6 year old called Pickle and a 3 year old called The Monster. I work 4 days a week. We are also planning a move to the country! I blog about that at www.ourmovetothecountry.wordpress.com
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6 Responses to Falling Apart at the Seams

  1. Amy Ransom says:

    I know exactly what you’re going through. I had anxiety after Godivy (no 2) was born. Complete fear of dying. Irrationally. Had all the tests, they couldn’t pinpoint anything. The past few weeks I’ve felt it surface again and have actually given up caffeine as that was aggravating it. Also exercising again which is helping. But some days I too feel like I’m falling apart. My neighbour is a nurse and she says that sometimes people worry because they haven’t actually got anything to really worry about. That ‘why not me?’ scenario. It’s certainly complex and can be very unnerving. Let us know how you get on and feel free to share your worries anytime x

  2. Michelle says:

    I too have found that exercise helps stress and anxiety massively. Just have to find the “thing” that helps the symptoms till you can find the cause. In the meantime, take special care of yourself. X

  3. I had this exact same problem a few months ago. I was constantly getting heart palpitations. Especially when I sat down or rested. I was worried about everything under the sun, everything it is humanly possible to worry about! The doctor told me it was anxiety and it wasn’t dangerous. Eventually it just went away by itself, but I think it’s definitely worth sorting out in the long run. I need to find a way of dealing with anxiety. I know that. It’s just finding the time to actually do that while dealing with all the things I have to worry about!

    • I so agree with this. I have found some deep breathing helps. It’s not instantaneous but I have noticed my heart feel better. Sorry to hear you’ve had similar issues.

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