My Midlife Crisis

Hi!  *stands up* My name is The40yearold and I like gardening.  Phew, I feel better for getting that off my chest. Let’s be honest.  It’s not seen as a particularly cool hobby is it.  The sort of thing my 18 year old self would have rolled her eyes at.  Wish I could go back and let “me” know that it seems boring now, but is actually a joy when you reach a certain age.

 In fact there are a lot of things that I would have deemed boring 20 years ago, but now put a smile on my face, make my heart lift and relax me like nothing else.

 To be fair, I started enjoying gardening as soon as I owned my own garden at the age of 32 so I’m not sure if that is age related or ownership related. sunflower I guess it’s often seen as an “older persons” hobby but probably for that very reason.  I know I had no enthusiasm for parents garden as a teenager, but it wasn’t mine.  Any work I did on it was a chore and I was happy to use it, just not look after it.

 I’d like to learn how to crochet or knit.  I knitted a bit as a child but I do have an overwhelming urge to make things, to tap into a creative side to me.  Life is too short to spend every evening in the prone position on the sofa with twitter in my hand and Paul Hollywood on the telly.  It’s not a bad way to spend an evening but at some point, I become very aware of my own mortality and can’t help thinking there is more I can be doing for myself.

 Next Monday I have decided to start an art course.  You may call this my mid-life crisis, that’s up to you, but if it is, I don’t mind.  I’ve spent the last year feeling an urge to be more creative.  I started blogging for that reason and am enjoying it immensely, but I want to draw and paint.

 I wasn’t an awful artist in school but my sister was the “arty” one and it’s hard to shine when you are in the shadows.  I did drama instead. She has gone on to forge a career using her artistic skills and my daughter is already showing signs of a flair for drawing.  Both my parents took up art in their late 50’s and 60’s.  Nothing spectacular was produced, but they enjoyed it a lot and I couldn’t help but think they felt it was worth pursuing if they had creative children.  I don’t want to wait that long. I want to do something now.

 One of my driving forces is that I have tried and failed to find suitable artwork for my house.  Something in the right colours, not too contemporary but contemporary enough. I have a vision in my head of some abstract art, but I can’t find it, certainly not in my price range.  Maybe, just maybe I might get to the point of creating my own.  I may not.  It’s worth pursuing though.

 I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder why I didn’t try something I wanted to do.  I have now blogged.  I have run 2 half marathons.  I want to do so much more. 

 My 18 year old self has probably stepped a few feet away from me now, embarrassed.  I really don’t care.  Being happy is the key to a long, fruitful life and that’s the life I choose.  To find the joy is one of life’s greatest gifts.

 What do you want to do?  Have you had an urge to learn or take something up?  Are you still doing it?  I’d love to hear similar stories.

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About freefallinginto40

I am 40 years old. I blog about how I'm coping with my "new" age at www.freefallinginto.com . I'm a married mother to two after years of infertility. I have a 6 year old called Pickle and a 3 year old called The Monster. I work 4 days a week. We are also planning a move to the country! I blog about that at www.ourmovetothecountry.wordpress.com
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11 Responses to My Midlife Crisis

  1. Sonya Cisco says:

    I find myself more drawn to crafts and sewing etc as I get older, my younger, more Rock’n’Roll self would be horrified, but then again, she had stupid coloured hair so what does she know! Enjoy your art, and please share some of your efforts, would love to see!

  2. I would like to create, write something that means something, changes something, develops relationships or friendships. To use my gifts for something that matters. Not a cliche, my real answer to your question. Thank you for posting and sparking thought.

  3. Good for you hun, I totally agree with you that there comes a point where you just want a little something for yourself. I have just enrolled on an creative writing course and am nervous and excited all at the same time. Hope you enjoy the painting. xx

  4. hattydaze says:

    I like gardening too but to answer your question, I am sure you are talking about the same reason why I took up ‘djing’ more recently and not when I was younger. My way of trying to keep hold of my youthful outlook, if not my youth!

  5. Funnily enough – I spent ages in the garden last night for the first time just pottering peacefully now my kids are old enough – just cleaning and sweeping, contemplating growing courgettes again and I was extremely satisfied and uplifted. I think these things remind us of our mothers – but then we become mothers! 🙂

  6. Aw, what do 18 year olds know anyway – well ok, they think they know it all, my 18 year old self certainly used to. I’m at the point of loving the idea of gardening, but not really having green fingers, or indeed a green mindset. I looked at my daughter’s sunflower seedling flopping over earlier in the week and thought, “oh that’s a shame, it’ll probably die soon”. Came down the next day and my husband had tied a little stake to it and it was looking most happy.” But then he is two years older than me, so maybe I still have time for the mid-life gardening phase to kick in.

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