Bog off Grandma

Dear Grandma,

So, you’ve been here before have you?  Raised 4 boys practically single handed have you?

That’s nice.

To be honest I wouldn’t shout too loudly.  They are all far from perfect, two of them still occasionally require financial support and the one I’ve got still struggles to be able to wash a pot up correctly or understand the concept of dirt or germs.  He rarely finishes a task he starts and would rather do a job bMother in lawadly than not do it all.  He’s a talker and not a doer. Every task needs to be talked about for about a year until eventually I just get on and do it. I’m not from that same school of thought.

Routines?  You can’t tell me you didn’t have them.  You definitely did.  Not entirely sure, then, why you take great pride in ignoring mine.  For Pickle I fumed alot about it.  One weekend with you and I had 2 weeks of trying to get her back on track again.  Remember the day she screamed all day.  Yeah, easily rectified if you hadn’t taken upon yourself to ignore everything I told you and wrote down and fed her when I said and let her sleep when I said.

I’m not sure why you do that, to be honest.  It’s easy to be given a routine to follow isn’t it.  Give or take 20 minutes, that’s fine. Best you can manage, that’s fine.  Completely ignoring it?  I’m not sure what that proves.  HA HA, got one over on me didn’t you?  Well, not really.  Now we both have a problem.

Love that I rang you up at 11am the other morning to check all was well and The Monster was in bed!!  An hour and a half early.  “He yawned. He was very tired. He’d done alot of walking”.  Jeez, I’d be in bed by 10am if that was the criteria.  I know you didn’t get him up earlier, because he didn’t fall asleep that night until nearly 9pm.  Nice one.

It was also fantastic that you decided to rant at your son for an hour after you’d had a particularly bad day with The Monster because it was our fault his language is so poor. “You need to say the word, get him to say the word, correct the way he says the word and get him to say it again”.  Great!  So I’ll do that whilst simultaneously preventing him from pulling out all the contents of the kitchen cupboards, doing reading with Pickle, putting on the washing, sweeping the floor and cooking dinner, shall I.  Yep, all the time in the world to “hot-house” my son.  I’m not working 4 days a week. Nope. I’m free as a bird.

Bloody woman!

I love that you love spending time with the grand children, I really do. I think you are a great grandmother and as a person, I quite like you, but for the life of me I have no idea why you are so critical of the way I’m bringing my children up and why you take every opportunity to ignore my advice.

Give me a break and remember what it was like when you had young children, for goodness sake, woman.

Love and kisses – Your daughter in law.


About freefallinginto40

I am 40 years old. I blog about how I'm coping with my "new" age at . I'm a married mother to two after years of infertility. I have a 6 year old called Pickle and a 3 year old called The Monster. I work 4 days a week. We are also planning a move to the country! I blog about that at
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20 Responses to Bog off Grandma

  1. Jennifer says:

    Brilliant post, exactly what I would like to say sometimes!

  2. francespringle says:

    Lolled a lot! Excellent post! Feel better? Hope so.

  3. Bec Cowley says:

    Brilliant post! Had me laughing out loud!

  4. Eeek! That was a funny read, but I bloody hope Grandma doesn’t know you’re a blogger or you’ll have to get our Education secretary to extend 10 school sessions to creches as well! I’m always saying how nice it must be to have relatives to help you look after your kids, but I’ve changed my mind!

  5. notmyyearoff says:

    Hahaa oh my god why do they ignore the list….this made me lol so much but the sleep one is soooooo my bug bear!

  6. This has made me really glad that my ex-inlaws have never asked to even meet the children. They are from the valleys of Wales where men are Gods and (having two boys) it would have been more murderous than it already is with my own mother! Well said 🙂

    • Thanks. Gosh they’ve never met them. That’s a bit sad (but clearly great for you). My husband doesn’t have a MIL and I envy him that, even though its obv not great he doesn’t, for me.

  7. Misty says:

    ha, love it! I think we all have problems with our in-laws don’t we? Ours insist on feeding our child on crap so when we get her back she won’t eat anything other than crisps/chocolate/sweets.

    Well said! Have you linked her to this? 😉

  8. I love this post!!! If my Mother In Law was still in our lives (Thank goodness we broke contact) I would have been writing this exact same post right about now! I have never met anyone who gets on with the in-laws. I agree with Misty.. definitely think you should have linked her to this!

  9. Awesome post! I think that on the upside you have the material for a sitcom here!! Hope things improve.

  10. mummybarrow says:


    So annoying when we have to pick up the pieces after “grandma knows best”

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