What has happened to my arse?
On minute it was sitting high (and large in a good way), the right proportion of muscle and fat and now it’s gone horrendously width ways and changed into a shape I don’t even recognise anymore.
I used to have my arse serenaded to by sailors (I kid you not, it did happen!)
It hooked every man I EVER went out with including my husband and now it hangs there like some sort of lumpy, cheap, sprayable, foam filler.
Where once I could have tucked my arse neatly into a tight pair of trousers, parading it about like a thing of wonder, I’m finding myself adjusting the length of my tops to create the right silhouette. Get it wrong and having THAT atop my skinny (ish) legs just looks comical.
I don’t think there are exercises available to rescue my arse from the cliff top its falling from, but if there are then please send help immediately. Otherwise I intend to either wear a bustle under everything and start wearing Victorian bathers in the shower to spare me the horror.