I have a long-enduring memory of my mother. She is sitting on the back step in the sunshine with a hand-held mirror and a pair of tweezers and is plucking hairs from her chin. As far as I was aware, my mother didn’t have a hairy chin, well none that I could see. That was probably partly to do with the whole sitting on the back step with a mirror and tweezers, partly to do with the fact she was blonde and therefore it wasn’t that noticeable and partly to do with the fact I was either a child or a teenager and barely actually looked at her for any length of time apart from angry cursory glances.
What I didn’t work out, was that if my mother was plucking her chin, that meant that at some stage in the future I would be as well. I’d like to say that now, at the age of 40, I’ve had my first hair on my chin, but that would be a terrible lie because I’m fairly certain I’ve probably been tending to stray hairs for the best part of 8 years (possibly more).
I’m fair-haired (dyed now) and thankfully my hairy chin mostly sprouts light coloured hair, but catch me in the right light and, my goodness, I look like I could give the blokes from ZZ Top a run for their money. The ones I can feel are thicker and easier to grab and quite often whilst in traffic I can grab those little buggers. The wispier ones (who can also be seen on the neck), I don’t know are there and if I have a few weeks of being very busy (well, I’ve 2 small children!) then it comes as a bit of a shock to me when I notice quite a few protruding very obviously. I cast my mind back to meetings I’ve had at work, friends I’ve seen recently and cringe that there was probably a big possibility they saw those hairs, waving about with gay abandon unbeknownst to me.
If I had the time and the money then I would probably go and get some electrolysis. I presume celebrities of a certain age probably do that, save themselves the hassle of having a pic in Heat Magazine with a big circle around their illuminated hair. However, I am rich in neither. I do know that my mum used to use a cream on her upper lip. I’m unsure if it was a bleaching cream of a depilatory cream but I’m unsure how useful that would be on my chin. I don’t want to encourage growth on hairs that, at the moment, are being well behaved. Waxing? Do people wax their chins? I suppose threading is a definite option, but I’ve dabbled in it for my eyebrows and spent the whole time squealing in pain. Apart from the pain, there is also the embarrassment of it all. I’m not entirely sure I want to ask someone else to head south on my face to attack a pre-pubescent beard. So plucking with tweezers is really my most obvious option so I will try my best to catch them much quicker than I am at the moment, be vigilant and thorough. The last thing I need is for my children (or anyones elses) to start calling me The Bearded Lady.